Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
