If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're a waste of cheezeits
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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