I bet he comes in French.
are you so shy because you have an std?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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