Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize