I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
