Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The power of my boobs compel you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
