Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
