He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
