Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
