It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This couple is walking their pig around campus
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
