capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize