sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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