i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
only if we run a train.
done.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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