one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
