somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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