Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
