Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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