Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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