Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
