Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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