Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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