Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you had me at cake vodka
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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