Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
