it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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