i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
