dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
