Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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