I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
