Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize