i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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