While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
