He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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