So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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