I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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