I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
