One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
