If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
