Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize