this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
