Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
