I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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