people are starting to question the shark bite story
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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