my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
