I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
