True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
