The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
