idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
