im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
