How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
