she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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