i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he thought i was a dude.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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