Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize