I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
