thus making me awesome and them whores
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
