I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Randomize
