Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
