Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
