And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
