My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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