Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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