Duck Duck Cougar?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
