Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
