its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
