margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
