Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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