Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
nutella sex= disaster
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
