You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
