so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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