If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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