the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
