Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
