Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
