from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
