my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
